The Three P's and Learned Helplessness
"Two Lists"
I recently heard an interview with Corey McCarthy, who experienced significant trauma growing up in Buffalo, got mixed up with drugs and alcohol abuse, and spent many years in prison. He has subsequently become clean and sober, has been released from prison, and ministers to those stuck on a similar journey.
One of the ideas he spoke about, and which I loved, was the idea that we all have "two lists" we read from. The first is the list of all the negative things that might hold us back - childhood trauma, lack of money or education, genetic risk, etc. Reading from this list tempts us to place blame and avoid responsibility for the choice we get to make for how we respond. When the "check engine" light comes on in the car, it's saying, "Why does this always happen to me?"
The second is the list of things we could be grateful for. It's the list of people who support us, opportunities we have, maybe even the opportunity to use the mess in our own...
8 Practices to Increase Your Joy
The 8 Pillars of Joy
My daughter Maddie is a science and math geek (much like her father). But she's also got this really cool artistic side. Take a look at the photo accompanying this blog post. Those are 3 art pieces Maddie and her friends are working on in her engineering class. They're currently on my garage floor as we're in the midst of social distancing and the schools are closed, so she brought them home to work on.
I was walking through the garage the other day when I stopped short as I took in the scene, and the range of possibilities for her life really struck me. She's interested in chemical engineering. But she's also working on designing a user interface for a non-profit. She's got so much potential, and so many doors open. I wonder where her life will take her?
The current reality, the Dalai Lama, and Archbishop Tutu
After the fact, I began to appreciate the joy this brief moment provided. I believe I'm more aware of joy currently. In part, this is because our world...